Management Translated

MANAGEMENT: That's very interesting.
TRANSLATION: I disagree.

MANAGEMENT: I don't totally disagree with you.
TRANSLATION: You may be right, but I don't care.

MANAGEMENT: You have to show some flexibility.
TRANSLATION: You have to do it whether you want to or not.

MANAGEMENT: You obviously put a lot of work into this.
TRANSLATION: This is awful.

MANAGEMENT: Help me to understand.
TRANSLATION: I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either.

MANAGEMENT: You need to see the big picture.
TRANSLATION: My boss thinks it's a good idea.

MANAGEMENT: We're going to follow a strict methodology here.
TRANSLATION: We're going to do it my way.

MANAGEMENT: I'd like your buy-in on this.
TRANSLATION: I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs.

MANAGEMENT: We want you to be the executive champion of this project.
TRANSLATION: I want to be able to blame you for my mistakes.

MANAGEMENT: We need to syndicate this decision.
TRANSLATION: We need to spread the blame if it backfires.

MANAGEMENT: It's not possible. It's impractical. It won't work.
TRANSLATION: I don't know how to do it.

MANAGEMENT: It's a no-brainer.
TRANSLATION: It's a perfect decision for me to handle.

MANAGEMENT: I'm glad you asked me that.
TRANSLATION: Public relations has written a carefully phrased answer.

MANAGEMENT: There are larger issues at stake.
TRANSLATION: I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts.

MANAGEMENT: I'll never lie to you.
TRANSLATION: The truth will change frequently.

MANAGEMENT: The upcoming reductions will benefit the vast majority of employees. TRANSLATION: The upcoming reductions will benefit me.